What happened to me vs. What happened

This is a powerful distinction which was brought out during last week's call on The Illusion of Time (thank you, Droku!) 

One of the primary ways we know we're stuck in this illusion is when we continuously judge events that happen in our lives and exclude other interpretations and viewpoints.  This is illustrated by an example of how the two people can be in identical circumstances and respond to the same event very differently.  As a teenager, I was friends with a pair of twins.  When their parents divorced, Jessie took it very badly, rebelling at home and in school, getting into trouble and eventually dropping out.  Her twin sister Ann, on the other hand, completed high school and went on to graduate from college with much success. 

What made the difference here?  At the time, I never really thought about it, but now, looking back, I can remember some big differences.  Jessie saw her parents divorce as a way of punishing her - like somehow she was to blame for the breakup.  She was always unhappy, caught up in the way things used to be when the family was together.  Ann saw things differently.  She didn't blame herself for her parents divorce and she found a way to excel and use the divorce to make her stronger.

This is an interesting example of the distinction above.  Jessie saw the divorce as happening to her, whereas Ann saw the divorce as something that happened.  When we're stuck in scarcity, we tend to view changes in our lives as bad.  They may be painful and scary, so we feel victimized or wronged.

However, just like the person who loses their job and goes back to school to learn a new skill and enter a totally different profession, change can be powerful.  Change can be the best thing that ever happened to us, if we stop judging and accept things as they are.

What is going on in your life right now that you are judging?  Is it happening to you, or just happening?

Posted by Kim George at 01:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Got External Drivers?  So what do you do once you've noticed you're in the Illusion of Comparisons?

The Living Into Greatness process is all about making shifts from the conditioning patterns that make up the Illusion, to conscious patterns that create the Abundance Aptitude.

conditioning patterns >>> conscious patterns

Here are the 3 primary conscious patterns of the Illusion of Comparisons:

• Internal Drivers: we seek inspiration from internal sources -- our intuition, our core greatness of who we are (vs. motivation from external sources)
• Freedom:  the ability to actualize who you are (vs. looking for permission from others)
• Being: mindset where a person derives their worth from being who they are, (vs. what they do)

Let's look at the power of Internal Drivers.  When we shift our focus from things outside of ourselves, we become centered in who we are.  We are focused on our intuition, what our body is telling us, and most importantly, on our core greatness. 

Remember, greatness is not dependent on anything else happening.  Greatness simply is. 

When we can embrace this as true, we can let ourselves off the hook to be something else, to perform to someone else's standards.  We break the chains of indentured servitude.  Living our lives according to external drivers is like being tethered to a giant ball and chain.  There is no true freedom.  True freedom exists inside us.

When we make the powerful shift from External Drivers to Internal Drivers, we are creating a new conscious belief.

I am my own compass.

Posted by Kim George at 11:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Living Into Greatness R&D:  Not How, But When

July 28th, 7pm eastern

The average person has 50,000 thoughts a day; the majority of them are limiting.  In this solution to the “Illusion of Time” in the Living Into Greatness series, Kim explores the concept of opportunity cost and sheds light on the 3 primary causes of this scarcity paradigm. Discover what your greatest opportunity cost is – and it’s not what you think!

For more information on this class, please send an email here.

Posted by Kim George at 10:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

A big thank you to all of you who have sent in your Illusion stories!  Your stories have been illuminating and eye opening! 

For those of you who haven't sent your Illusion stories in, there's still plenty of time. Check out this post for more information.

Don't miss this special opportunity to be a part of the Living Into Greatness book project!

Posted by Kim George at 11:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

How can you tell when you are operating under one of the Illusions?

The conditioning patterns do just that.  They are reoccurring patterns in our lives that provide evidence of when we are resisting being who we are.

In Thursday night's class, we explored the 3 primary conditioning patterns of the Illusion of Comparisons.  The Illusion of Comparisons is the habit of consistently comparing ourselves to the external world to validate our belief of who we are.  Conditioned beliefs of this illusion include:

• the grass is always greener on the other side
• what others think is more important than what I think
• you are what you do

Here are the 3 conditioning patterns that show up when we're operating under this Illusion:

• External Drivers:  we seek our motivation from external sources that include people, events, and ideas (The neighbors just got a new car; I'll look like a loser if I don't get one, too.)
• Permission:  seeking approval from an external driver to do or be something  (If Tom thinks this is a good idea, I'll do it.)
• Doing:  the mindset that your worth = your productivity + tangible results (If I keep busy, I'll get lots of clients)

How do external drivers show up in your life? 

Over the next week, pay attention to where your attention is going.  Where are you seeking validation, approval, and acceptance?  I'd love to hear what you come up with.

Posted by Kim George at 11:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

"Something we were witholding made us weak until we found out it was ourselves."

Robert Frost

What is it about Greatness that makes it so difficult for many of us to embrace and accept?  Most people spend their lives searching and striving for that thing or person that is going to make everything easier, better, complete, you name it.  At the same time, when we search for the answer outside of ourselves, we deny a greater truth inside of ourselves.  We deny that we have the answer all along. 

We are the answer we've been looking for. 

Greatness is not something that exists outside of ourselves.  It's not contingent upon who we know or what we do.  Yes, these things are important.  Yes, they add value.  But the big idea here is that you are already great.  The need to go about fixing yourself and making things right is an illusion.  And it is the awareness of that illusion that is the first step to greatness.  When we see through our smoke screens, we can see more clearly who we already are.

Posted by Kim George at 10:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

As the writing for this book kicks into high gear, I'm reaching out to all of you.  I'm looking for examples and scenarios of the 7 illusions showing up in life and business environments.  Here's a refresher of the 7:

1. Illusion of Not Enough
2. Illusion of Comparisons
3. Illusion of Struggle
4. Illusion of Control
5. Illusion of Time
6. Illusion of Hope
7. Illusion of Certainty

I'd like to know:

• Do you see yourself in any of the Illusions?
• Can you think of specific times in your life when you struggled with an Illusion?
• Have you seen the Illusions at play with someone you know?
• Have you worked with a client or an employee who's struggled with one of the Illusions?

I want to hear from you.  Here's what I'm looking for:

• which Illusion you're targeting
• a description of the scenario -- how the Illusion played out
• what was the result (the result could also be that there was no result -- the person stayed stuck)

If you're not sure of the particular Illusion, or it overlaps with more than one, just make a note in your submission.  All submissions will be considered and anonymity will be protected.  You will be notified if I decide to use your story.

Everyone who submits an Illusion story will receive an exclusive sneak peek at the first chapter in the book!

Please email your submissions here with "Illusion story" in the subject line. 

A big thanks to everyone for participating!

Posted by Kim George at 12:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Join us for the next installment in the Living Into Greatness Solution Series:

Thursday, July 21st at 7pm eastern

Celebrate "Is"

Do you find yourself or your clients always looking for the next best thing, longing for someone else’s circumstances or experience?  You may be suffering from the “Illusion of Comparisons”.  Join Kim as she explores the 3 biggest conditioning patterns that drive people to focus on external results instead of internal solutions.  Discover specific strategies for celebrating what “is” and learn how to shed your external drivers.

To join this call, please send an email here.

Posted by Kim George at 09:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In last night's call, I started a new series of Living Into Greatness calls all focusing on the Solutions to the Illusions we've been exploring.  Here's a little background for you on what makes up Illusions and Solutions:

• Illusions are sources of scarcity thinking
• Each illusion is made up of 3 primary conditioning patterns
• Each conditioning pattern is made up of conditioned beliefs
• Conditioning patterns are the pattern language of scarcity.

Coined by Christopher Alexander, world famous architect and author, a pattern language is a way to describe a series of patterns that identify a problem which occurs over and over again.  It gives language to, and allows people to relate to, a problem in accessible, understandable terms.

A Conditioning Pattern (CP) is a reoccurring chain of actions, reactions and barriers that keep us from living into greatness.  They are the primary evidence of illusions in our lives.  All the CP's make up the pattern language of scarcity.  In other words, by exploring the pattern language of scarcity mentality, we can identify and connect with the ways we may be living in scarcity, not greatness.

Just as there is a pattern language of scarcity, there is also a pattern language of abundance.  In future posts, I'll be sharing with you the 7 key abundance aptitudes which are the pattern language for abundance.  I'll also be sharing the experiental patterns that replace conditioned patterns.

Another quick note for purposes of definition:  conditioned beliefs are beliefs we internalized from sources outside ourselves (parents, education, society, cultural norms).  They are not beliefs of our true selves.  Lots more on this in future posts as well.

Questions?  Confused?  I'd love to read your comments.

Posted by Kim George at 10:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

What a great call last night!  Thanks to everyone who participated.  We explored the 3 primary conditioning patterns that cause the Illusion of Not Enough.   These patterns are the evidence that we're in scarcity. 

The 3 primary conditioning patterns for the Illusion of Not Enough are:

• More -- looking for more of anything to fill a perceived void inside yourself
• Storytelling -- the conditioned stories we identify are ours that run our lives and keep us from doing what we can do
• Contingency -- "If I get that job, then I'll finally be happy . . ."  The habit of looking for something outside of ourselves or someone else to fill our void

The highlight for me in last night's call was the conversation around the experiental patterns (more on these in future posts) that replace these conditioning patterns.  Here they are:

• Capacity - Personal RAM + Creative Energy + Flow
• Greatfulness - Gratitude + Appreciation + Greatness
• Catalyst - Initiating movement in alignment with your ideals

No, that's not a typo.  I really do intend to spell Greatfulness in that way.  I loved the conversation around this experiental pattern.  Here's how I explain the concept of Greatfulness:

    Those living in scarcity see the cup as half empty. 

    Those living in abundance see the cup as overflowing.

    Those who are living in greatness ARE the cup.

Can you view yourself as the cup?  What possibilities does this open for you?  Would this change how you're showing up everyday?

Posted by Kim George at 10:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Stop Searching, Start Doing

Thursday, July 14th, 7pm eastern

Got big ideas and even bigger goals?  Frustrated with your inability to make things happen that matter in your business and in your life?  You may be suffering from the “Illusion of Not Enough”.  Join Kim as she shares the 3 biggest barriers that keep people from doing what they can do.  Find out how you can drop your resistance to greatness by changing your scarcity paradigm.

Send an email here to register for this call.

Posted by Kim George at 10:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

"While we wait in silence for that final luxury of fearlessness, the weight of that silence will choke us."

Audre Lorde

I love this quote.  It speaks so eloquently to the expectations so many of us have.  We expect there will come a day when we aren't scared anymore, when things will just line up and straighten out and our days of jockeying with life will be over.  When we will have paid our dues and earned the right to sit back and relax -- no more disappointment, pain, or sadness.  What a beautiful image that is, but . . .

What a crock!

There is never a point in time when fear truly and completely goes away.  Do you think that successful people don't have anymore fear?  No.  They've just found a way for their courage to be bigger than their fear.  And they've kept on.  Living into their greatness.  Doing the thing they can do.  Because they can.

The illusion of certainty suffocates our hopes and dreams.  It dangles the belief that at some point, we will know it all and the guess work will be taken out of life.  There is a point at which that happens.  But it's not living.  It's called death.  Too many people sleepwalk under the Illusion of Certainty, and a little piece of them dies each day.

Posted by Kim George at 12:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I was a VISTA volunteer (what is now Americorps) for two years after I graduated from college. My assignment was to create a grantwriting process for a homelessness and anti-poverty organization.  During those two years, I also served meals in the soup kitchen, gave out food baskets in the food pantry, and assisted in the two homeless shelters run by the organization. 

I saw desperation and hopelessness and dead ends.  I saw people get shot on the sidewalk and 2 year old kids running around barefoot at 1 in the morning.

But I also saw abundance in action.  Children getting fed, the homeless getting healthcare, and people living a difference in service to others.  The best example of abundance in action is the story of Geraldo, second youngest n a family of 4 who had traveled from shelter to shelter before staying at the Broderick House, where I worked.  From the beginning, this family was special to me.  Despite the streets, despite the depression of their mom, these kids were happy.  When they left the shelter to move into their permanent apartment, it was a bittersweet day filled with the excitement of moving on, but also the fear of letting go.

Last year I ran into Geraldo at the local mall at Christmas.  The mall was crammed with frenzied, last minute shoppers searching for the perfect gift.  Somehow I heard this voice calling my name.  I stopped and looked back through the crowd. 

There was Geraldo.  We hugged each other and looking at him, it was hard to believe this was the same kid 10 years ago who had lived at Broderick House, fighting so hard to keep off the streets.  He told me he was finishing up Pharmacy school and how much me and the staff at Broderick House had done for him.  He beamed with excitement and pride.

I've thought a lot about Geraldo since that day.  I've thought about how easy it would've been for him to fall into the scarcity trap of his environment.  And I've thought how amazing it was that a few caring people made the difference for him.  That experience was an expression of each of us living into our greatness by helping others.

It's funny how you look back on events and think "How the hell did I ever do that?"  How did I live above a homeless shelter on $40 a week for two years face to face with the heartbreak and beauty of poverty?  I did it because, just out of college, I was very idealistic.  I thought I would change the world.  What I learned is that I couldn't change the world, so much as I could change myself.  And the only way I could change myself was to look at who I thought I was -- what I believed, what I assumed and what I "saw" about the world around me and my role in it. 

I got that scarcity is man made. And I saw how I could choose to add to it, or not.

As I look back at it now, I'm the one that learned the biggest lesson of all.

Posted by Kim George at 10:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I was just watching some of the broadcast from the Live 8 concerts that took place around the world on Saturday.  Besides the reuniting of Pink Floyd (amazing!), what really struck me was how world poverty is one of the biggest mirrors of scarcity in human hearts.

Nelson Mandela has said that poverty is man made.  Scarcity is at the root of poverty, not just in the obvious "lack of resources", but in our attitudes, assumptions and behaviors about the poor and how we "deal" with them. 

When I was a VISTA volunteer, I began to get a hint of this idea that scarcity is man made.  I saw first hand how people treated the homeless, based on their assumptions of how they got there and why they stayed there.  I saw people abusing the system, playing a game of how much they could get without giving. 

But I also saw the pure gratitude in a mother's eyes when she was able to feed her child one more day and the relief in a battered woman's face when she was told she would be safe.

Scarcity is a state of mind created by human beings.  God did not create scarcity.  The universe is abundant.  In a world that has more than enough food and resources to feed every man, woman, and child, we have the solutions. 

But we choose not to live the solutions.  We choose not to BE the solution.

I am choosing differently.  By sharing the Living Into Greatness work with you, my intention is to inspire you, question you, provoke you, move you, and love you . . .

All for who you are.

Because that is what the world needs and that is what the world deserves.

Posted by Kim George at 10:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Another 4th of July.  Got me to thinking about this latest go around of fireworks, hotdogs, and flag waving.  Every year, we Americans celebrate our independence according to the history books, and celebrate our right to have a day off.

But what if this 4th of July was more than that?  What if we celebrated independence of a different kind?  What about exploring and committing to a different perspective of freedom?  How bout freedom from the attitudes, assumptions and behaviors that keep us from doing the things we can do?

Today can be more than the average 4th.  Today can be the day you declare independence from the thoughts that are holding you hostage, the patterns that are keeping you from living into your greatness.  The illusions that keep you stuck in scarcity are the very illusions that rob you of your freedom -- freedom of happiness, peace of mind, and ease.

What is your deepest yearning of freedom for yourself?  Who do you really want yourself to be?  Today you can let go of looking for yourself in other people and other things by realizing that you already are ALL that you want to be.  You already have the capacity to be that free. You are that free - it is the illusions that create a smoke screen of need and perceived imprisonment. 

Remember Nelson Mandela?  Imprisoned for 27 years in a cell just like this one at Robben Island, the South African leader endured countless abuses.  Yet, his captors could never imprison his mind.

He declared himself to be free, every day -- even if only in his mind.  But that was more than enough.  That declaration was his transformation out of his dark, tiny, filthy prison cell.  For Mandela, his mind was an oasis in the midst of hopelessness.  For so many of us that have so much, our mind is a desert in the midst of an oasis.

Today you can begin.  Just by making a simple, but profound shift in your thinking.

Today you can begin to be free. 

Declare it!

Posted by Kim George at 10:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The Illusion of Safety

Thursday, July 7th, 7pm eastern

Creating safety isn’t about changing your circumstances or yourself so much as it's about changing your perceptions of yourself and the world around you. The illusion of safety is that certain level of comfort we feel when our current situation is “good enough”. Join Kim as she explores the Illusion of Safety and how many of us have constructed satin-lined coffins that are really causing us a slow death every day.  Discover strategies for smashing your own "coffins" to embrace the risks that bring the greatest safety of all.

To participate in this call, send an email here.

Posted by Kim George at 09:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)