What happened to me vs. What happened

This is a powerful distinction which was brought out during last week's call on The Illusion of Time (thank you, Droku!) 

One of the primary ways we know we're stuck in this illusion is when we continuously judge events that happen in our lives and exclude other interpretations and viewpoints.  This is illustrated by an example of how the two people can be in identical circumstances and respond to the same event very differently.  As a teenager, I was friends with a pair of twins.  When their parents divorced, Jessie took it very badly, rebelling at home and in school, getting into trouble and eventually dropping out.  Her twin sister Ann, on the other hand, completed high school and went on to graduate from college with much success. 

What made the difference here?  At the time, I never really thought about it, but now, looking back, I can remember some big differences.  Jessie saw her parents divorce as a way of punishing her - like somehow she was to blame for the breakup.  She was always unhappy, caught up in the way things used to be when the family was together.  Ann saw things differently.  She didn't blame herself for her parents divorce and she found a way to excel and use the divorce to make her stronger.

This is an interesting example of the distinction above.  Jessie saw the divorce as happening to her, whereas Ann saw the divorce as something that happened.  When we're stuck in scarcity, we tend to view changes in our lives as bad.  They may be painful and scary, so we feel victimized or wronged.

However, just like the person who loses their job and goes back to school to learn a new skill and enter a totally different profession, change can be powerful.  Change can be the best thing that ever happened to us, if we stop judging and accept things as they are.

What is going on in your life right now that you are judging?  Is it happening to you, or just happening?