The Illusion of Certainty
"While we wait in silence for that final luxury of fearlessness, the weight of that silence will choke us."
Audre Lorde
I love this quote. It speaks so eloquently to the expectations so many of us have. We expect there will come a day when we aren't scared anymore, when things will just line up and straighten out and our days of jockeying with life will be over. When we will have paid our dues and earned the right to sit back and relax -- no more disappointment, pain, or sadness. What a beautiful image that is, but . . .
What a crock!
There is never a point in time when fear truly and completely goes away. Do you think that successful people don't have anymore fear? No. They've just found a way for their courage to be bigger than their fear. And they've kept on. Living into their greatness. Doing the thing they can do. Because they can.
The illusion of certainty suffocates our hopes and dreams. It dangles the belief that at some point, we will know it all and the guess work will be taken out of life. There is a point at which that happens. But it's not living. It's called death. Too many people sleepwalk under the Illusion of Certainty, and a little piece of them dies each day.
Comments
I love this one Kim! I tend to be so certain the majority of the time. The main issues I now see very clearly around certainty are money, friends, my personal environments, work, and the boys. I am certain that something or someone will provide if I don't have enough money, I am certain that my friends will not go anywhere and that they will all eventualy co sign my crap, I am certain that I can not get or go to worse place that I have been, and I'm certain that the boy's will comform to my every demand. YHEA RIGHT!!! The list can go on and on, but this is a great starting point for me. I get it... Certainty will allow me to to stay stuck where I feel a certain level of comfort, and not move forward, or will keep my in expectations, and false control. WOW, this is such great stuff. I know today, that if I don't work, I don't have the money, and it's noone elses responsibility to provide for me or my family that way. I know that if I take my friends for granted, and be unsocial and throw out expectations on them, I will no longer have the relationship I once had. I know that my boy's are going to be little boy's, and I have no control, I have the ability to teach. I can't wait to dive more into this stuff. It is so great to see how each of the illusions whurl around each other, but even more great that I get it, and can choose to live a different way! love ya, B
Posted by: Brandi | July 13, 2005 03:31 PM
Wow, thanks for being so open Brandi. So how can you use the four steps to mark your progress with this Illusion?
Posted by: Elizabeth Tull | July 15, 2005 05:55 PM
Okay, so... Things I have begun to watch out for are my reactions. I know today that if I react to (______), I'm not being open. I'm certain (____). This shuts off even the slightest bit of happiness I have, and allows more crap to pour in. I have become aware that It's not all about me, I am not Superwoman, and I don't like wearing "riot gear". I have accepted that life does not revolve around me, and I am just a person who has great friends, children, and a great job. I've accepted that I'm right where I'm supposed to be, right now. My consistant action will show itself as long as I continue to stay out of my head, and not get conceited. This allows me to be authentic. However... when I start to isolate and get into the "know it all" stuff, and trying to do it all,.. I'm in reaction. Not authentic. There is also no more consistent action, because I no longer am doing anything- Just stay stuck. As for the acceptance, well that goes this way most of the time. I accept that I am right, and become very grandious in my thinking. So, I just tell myself that I am not superwoman, and accept that it may not all happen, but I have another day. Wow, cool stuff, B
Posted by: Brandi | July 18, 2005 12:57 PM