Today is a special day for me.

It's not any ordinary Father's Day.

This one is special.

You see, for the first time in my 37 years, I've discovered the father I've always wanted.

My history with my father is long and complicated. Basically, we never seemed to "get" each other. We were emotionally distant, disconnected. This was amplified by my mother's death when I was 15. Our grief tore us apart instead of bringing us together.

I tried to control my dad. Tried to make him be the way I expected him to be. Of course, it never worked. My control just made things worse. And I felt more alone than ever.

Than a wonderful thing started to happen. I decided to let go of the tug of war. Let go of how my dad should be and begin to accept him for how he is.

I began to love him for who he is.

Just a couple of weeks ago, my dad and I took a road trip to Washington DC. I was keynoting the ICF Capital Coaches conference. My dad had never heard me speak professionally before. It was a special time. We met each other in truly unique and open ways. And we enjoyed each other.

I'm so grateful for the opportunity to love my dad for who he is, for this opportunity, even late in life, to have the father I've always wanted.

It's an amazing thing when you let go of control and just start showing up -- showing up and allowing things to be.

Then you see the beauty all around you.

And in you.

Posted by Kim George at 04:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In this week's call, From Illusion to Doing What You Can Do, we explored the Top 5 Secrets to Setting and Keeping Abundant Goals.  In the upcoming weeks, I will blog about each of the 5 Secrets.

Earlier this month, I blogged about how goals are often feeders to our illusions--especially when they are vague, comfortable, unrealistic, and inherited.  In this way, your goals are like having a pile of unlit matches lying around, with no catalyst to set them afire. 

Dormant greatness. 

Missed opportunity. 

If you find your goals have one or more of the elements I just mentioned, I suggest reframing your approach and making a shift to Declarations.

Declarations are public promises put into action.  In my book Coaching Into Greatness, I provide a 3 step formula for designing the ultimate declaration.  Declarations differ from affirmations in that there is an equal balance between declaring your greatness (I am a bestselling author . . .) owning your greatness, living your greatness by doing what you can do, and then letting go to allow life to unfold through you.

Here's the key to understanding the difference between Goals and Declarations:  goals are things to strive for, to become, to achieve.  Declarations embrace what you already have, to live into who you already are.  I will explore this in depth in my next post in this mini-series.

What do you want to declare today?

Posted by Kim George at 10:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I just finished reading, "Everything Happens for a Reason" by Mira Kirshenbaum.  The big idea of this book is that the meaning of an event in your life doesn't come from the event.  It comes from you and the lessons you're needing to learn. 

As Mira writes, "The good that comes out of the bad things that happen to you is to help you become your best, most authentic self."

Here are the ten reasons Mira has identified for why things happen in our lives:

1. To help you feel at home in the world
2. To help you totally accept yourself
3. To show you that you can let go of fear
4. To bring you to the place where you can feel forgiveness
5. To help you uncover your true hidden talents
6. To give you what you need to find true love
7. To help you discover the play in life
8. To show you how to live with a sense of misison
9. To help you become a truly good person

This list was very thought provoking to me.  I look back on the loss of my mother at a young age, and I can definitely find meaning in # 3, #8, and # 9.  There's also an interesting parallel to a distinction that I draw in Coaching Into Greatness -- what happens to you vs. what happens.  Both Mira and myself are essentially saying the same thing - that how you view an event in your life determines whether it will help you live into your greatness.  Finding meaning gives us purpose and an abundant path.

What is the thread of purpose running through the events in your life?

Posted by Kim George at 09:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Each year I look back and evaluate my progress related to the theme, business goals and personal standards I have set.  It's an opportunity to celebrate discoveries, events, transformations, surrenders, and everything else in between.  I wanted to share my observations with all of you because you are fellow travelers on this journey.

My 2005 theme was Exploring My Vulnerability. In 2004, my theme was Step Up and Stand Out, and I had done that by conquering my fear of asking for what I want -- I interviewed such greats as Seth Godin, Dan Pink, Michael Gerber, Dr. Ivan Misner, and about 50 others.  Why explore vulnerability?  In our society, we view vulnerability as a weakness.  Yet, the most vulnerable people I have read about and witnessed are people with profound intuition, courage, and strength -- strength to go to the unfamiliar, dark places.  To be vulnerable is to be open to our truest selves, to allow ourselves to let down the standard defenses and barriers.  Yes, we open up to pain in many situations, but in doing so, we allow ourselves to feel, to experience life.

Being vulnerable is letting go of dwelling on the surface of life.

As I look back on this year, I realize just how much 2005 has been a triumph of my vulnerability.  Here's how:

• I've written Coaching Into Greatness, a book that lays bare many painful, transformative experiences in my life (when I first envisioned the book, I never imagined it would feature my life story)
• I didn't know exactly how the book would happen, I embraced my intuition and got out of the way -- I let go of controlling every detail and began to trust
• I left my position at CoachVille, where I had been a part of the team for nearly 3 years, to focus on bringing my own work to the world
• I began to specifically focus on receiving the support, advice, and resources of people I trust to do what I could do (you know who you are!)
• I created this blog, which was the first time I began to share my personal journey and views in such a public way

It's been an amazing, transformative year.  I look back with a huge sense of accomplishment, celebration, and love.  Most of all, I look back with no regrets. What life brings us is often messy, uneasy, and uncertain.  2005 has certainly been that, too.  But embracing my vulnerability has also meant the willingness to look for the life lessons in things that happen, and to hold on to the thread of continuity and purpose that runs through my life.

Thanks for walking with me.  2006 is just around the bend. Can you see it?

Posted by Kim George at 11:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In my prior post, I shared that I pick a theme each year that ties together all of my focused intentions and actions.  For the coming year, my theme is:

To Be Who I AM in the World

What does this mean?  To be who I AM in the world means to make a conscious commitment to the following:

1. To create an inspiration environment for me and everyone around me

2. To consistently build and act on attitudes and behaviors that cause me to live into my greatness

3. To consistently create actions, attitudes and behaviors that cause me to live abundantly

4. To consistently create actions, attitudes and behaviors that promote loving-kindness for myself and all living things

5. To consistently live and embody love through acts of service to all living things

6. To do what I CAN do on a consistent basis.

What is your theme for 2006?

Posted by Kim George at 11:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I don't watch a lot of television, mostly a lot of HBO, but one show I Tivo on a regular basis is The Apprentice.  I love watching how the job candidate's approach and solve a variety of business scenarios.  What's even more interesting is to see who rises above and who shows their true colors.  The show is a great case study of abundance and scarcity in action.

Did you see this season's finale where the final two candidates, Randal and Rebecca are in a dead heat to be hired as Trump's next apprentice?  Randal came out on top, but in my opinion, both Randal and Rebecca should've been hired.  It was so close, Trump asks Randal about hiring her, as well.

Throughout the season, Randal has shown character, integrity, compassion, and what appears to be a relatively high AQ.  But when presented with the opportunity to act abundantly, he just couldn't do it. 

C'mon, Kim, you actually expected Randal to tell Trump to hire Rebecca?

Yeah, I did.  And, damn, was I disappointed.

You see, here's the thing.  Raising other people up and helping them to shine and be successful never takes anything away from you.  It never diminishes who you are.  Thinking that it does is a scarcity mentality.

Randal had already won.  Randal was already great.  By not agreeing to hire Rebecca, he made himself look small and threatened.

Lesson learned:  By helping others to live into their greatness, we are great.

Posted by Kim George at 10:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

My mom died 21 years ago today.

It's a subject that I revisit in my new book.  After my mom died, I couldn't imagine talking to anyone about what I was going through.  Now, all these years later, I've found my voice.  When I first wrote the book proposal and farmed it out to several publishers, I never imagined that I'd share so much of my personal life in my writing.  To be honest, at times it's been downright scary to share these stories, to open my life, to revisit the old, dark, painful places.  But it's been a healing process too.  In fact, with this new found vulnerability, I don't even feel weaker as I originally thought. 

I feel stronger. 

I am stronger.

And I'm more me than I've ever been.

Thanks again, Mom, for teaching me a powerful lesson, even after your death.

The Sun

Strange thing about the sun - how often, after it has set and we are able to see it no more, it leaves behind a beauty we can never see while we have it here with us.

About the sun, we know this truth.  If it seems to be setting where we are, it is because it is rising somewhere else - rising and still shining with its same radiance and warmth.

We know, that in reality, the sun never sets.  Instead, we are temporarily not able to see it.  And yet, we are certain we will see the sun again.

Author Unknown

Posted by Kim George at 03:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I just got back from visiting my dad in Pennsylvania over the holiday weekend.  I took the train so that I could work on my book.  An interesting thing happened during my travels yesterday and I thought I would share it with you.

I was sitting in the Philly station waiting for my next train which was due to arrive in 2 hours.  A couple sat down next me, with what appeared to be a complete 8 piece matching floral print luggage set.  The woman was clearly anxious.  She kept figiting, standing up to look at the board displaying train details and then sitting down and making the same statements:

Where do we go to get the train?

I don't see any elevators.  Do they have elevators?

I don't think the luggage will fit on the escalator, do you?

What if we don't have enough time to get on the train?

This went on for about 40 minutes, as I continued to read the latest issue of Fast Company magazine.  Her husband was doing a pretty good job of ignoring her.  I was trying to ignore how she was annoying me.  I wasn't doing as good a job.

Her husband walks off and she now turns to me and starts asking me the same questions.  I smile at her and let her know how boarding the train works (I won't bore you with the details.)  She asks me several times about the luggage.  Will it fit?  Will they have enough time?

At that point, I suggest that she ask one of the Amtrak employees that has been standing about 15 feet away from us for the past hour.  She pauses, looking at me, and then rolls into another long string of the same questions.  When her husband finally came back, she got him to go and talk with the employee.  He arranged for someone to come and cart all there luggage down to the train for them and it was over before you could blink an eye.

Why am I telling you this story?

Because it points out a reoccurring pattern of scarcity.  That woman clearly had the Illusion of Struggle going on.  Her inability to ask for help kept her in a state of constant anxiety for over an hour.

What caused her inability to ask for help?  That's something we'll never know for sure.  Yet it points to an issue around scarcity.  That set of luggage really represented all the baggage this woman may have been carrying.  I couldn't help thinking that she needed permission to go and ask for help.  How interesting that a simple thing like boarding a train could be turned into a huge anxiety filled ordeal.

What could you ask for help with today that would lessen some of your struggle?

Posted by Kim George at 03:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

My heart goes out to everyone impacted by Hurricane Katrina, in particular, my two cousins, Shannon and Tara and their families.  Both from New Orleans, they have lost everything, but got out safely before the hurricane hit. 

They were the lucky ones.

And so are the rest of us, lucky ones--watching the tragic events unfold day after day.  I was just in New Orleans in May and have such fond memories -- it was one of the best times of my life.  I'm so thankful I got a chance to experience it before all this

And now it is all underwater.

But this country will rebuild.  Mississippi and Alabama will rebuild.  New Orleans will rebuild.  And be greater than ever before.

Because the true spirit of people is abundance and we are seeing this in countless amazing acts of kindness and compassion.  I will be celebrating these acts of abundance in the days and weeks ahead.  Feel free to check in here when you need to feel good about something going on in the Gulf Coast.

Abundance rules.

Posted by Kim George at 09:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Just like the rest of the world, I have been grief stricken by the devastation continuing to unfold in New Orleans and other parts of the Gulf Coast.  All eyes are on the human toll that is being exacted, but there is another equally disturbing story to be told.  Thousands of pets are left stranded in flooded houses, on rooftops, on porches and on top of cars.  Many people were not allowed to take their pets with them on rescue boats and helicopters, on buses and into shelters. 

This is appalling!

These people have lost everything.  Everything.  There are many stories of people wading through toxic water up to their chest to get to shelters and rescuers, only to be told they cannot take their pets with them.  Can you imagine leaving your pet behind to fend for itself, to starve and suffer the miserable death of dehydration?

I cannot.

Many people might read this and think I'm off my rocker.  People come first, right?  Here's my take on this deplorable situation:  To be abundant is to celebrate and revere ALL life.

This is scarcity in the truest sense.  This entire tragedy could have been prevented if politicians and city planners would have acted abundantly and rebuilt the levees to survive this kind of threat.  They knew this was coming.  They didn't want to invest the $14 billion it would take to do the job right.  Instead, they acted from a scarcity mentality, which leaves us in the situation we are in right now.

Scarcity is all around us.  But so is abundance.  In the days ahead, I'm going to share stories of people acting abundantly in the face of this tragedy - people doing what they can, RIGHT NOW to help their fellow man (and animals).  They are the true heros.

I urge you to support the critical work being done by too few in the Gulf Coast on behalf of animals; here are some rescue organizations that desperately need your help:

Humane Society www.hsus.org

Noah's Wish  www.noahswish.org

Best Friends Sanctuary www.bestfriends.org

American Society for the Protection of Cruelty to Animals www.aspca.org

For tonight, I leave you with one of my favorite stories: 

A man died and found himself walking along a dusty road. He wasn't alone, though. He was delighted when he realized that his favorite dog was trotting along beside him.

After a while, tired and thirsty, the pair came to an ornate gate, gilded with gold and precious gems. A neon sign proclaimed it to be heaven.

"Come on in and have a nice cold drink," the gatekeeper told the man.

"What about my dog?" the man asked.

"Sorry, he can't come in," the gatekeeper replied.

The man shook his head, whistled to his dog and the pair kept walking, getting thirstier by the minute.

Soon they came to another gate, this one not nearly so ornate. There was no polished gold, no sparkle of rubies and emeralds like the other one had, but inside, the man could see beautiful rolling fields of grass and flowers. Again, there was a gatekeeper who motioned him forward.

"Come on in and take a load off," the gatekeeper said. "We've got all the cool water you can drink."

"What about my dog?" the man asked.

"Oh, there should be a bowl right there beside the pump," the gatekeeper replied. "And when you two finish drinking, we'll get you both something to eat, too."

"What is this place?" the man asked.

"Why, this is heaven," the gatekeeper replied.

Shaking his head, the man asked if the gatekeeper didn't get mad about the gilded palace down the road claiming to be heaven.

"Nah," the angel replied. "They just help us to weed out those who would leave their best friends behind."

God bless all living things, two legged and four legged, in the Gulf Coast.

Posted by Kim George at 09:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Last night I was flipping through a business magazine when I noticed an ad by Philips Electronics.  The full page ad shows the picture of a very happy baby with a big smile on his face, laying on his back.  But it wasn't the happy baby that caught my attention, it was the headline underneath:

Things start uncomplicated.  Why change them?

Think about that.  When you were born, you were uncomplicated.  In one way, you were a clean slate, waiting to be imprinted by society and culture and norms, but in another way, you already had your "DNA of Greatness" coded within you.

And then what happened?

You were taught by your parents, reigned in by your teachers and influenced by the "anonymous they" - you know these people - you refer to the "anonymous they" when you say things like:

I couldn't do that - what would "they" think?

Everyone knows that's the way it should be.

Well, you know, "they" say it takes (insert your favorite saying here).

And so on.

This conditioning has a way of making things more difficult than they need to be.  When things are complicated, we give ourselves permission to get caught up in them.  Not only is this a convenient distraction, but it keeps us in the Illusion of Struggle.  It gives us something to identify with.  We can relate to it because we've been there before.

What difficulties have you become comfortable with?

Posted by Kim George at 09:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I was just watching some of the broadcast from the Live 8 concerts that took place around the world on Saturday.  Besides the reuniting of Pink Floyd (amazing!), what really struck me was how world poverty is one of the biggest mirrors of scarcity in human hearts.

Nelson Mandela has said that poverty is man made.  Scarcity is at the root of poverty, not just in the obvious "lack of resources", but in our attitudes, assumptions and behaviors about the poor and how we "deal" with them. 

When I was a VISTA volunteer, I began to get a hint of this idea that scarcity is man made.  I saw first hand how people treated the homeless, based on their assumptions of how they got there and why they stayed there.  I saw people abusing the system, playing a game of how much they could get without giving. 

But I also saw the pure gratitude in a mother's eyes when she was able to feed her child one more day and the relief in a battered woman's face when she was told she would be safe.

Scarcity is a state of mind created by human beings.  God did not create scarcity.  The universe is abundant.  In a world that has more than enough food and resources to feed every man, woman, and child, we have the solutions. 

But we choose not to live the solutions.  We choose not to BE the solution.

I am choosing differently.  By sharing the Living Into Greatness work with you, my intention is to inspire you, question you, provoke you, move you, and love you . . .

All for who you are.

Because that is what the world needs and that is what the world deserves.

Posted by Kim George at 10:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Another 4th of July.  Got me to thinking about this latest go around of fireworks, hotdogs, and flag waving.  Every year, we Americans celebrate our independence according to the history books, and celebrate our right to have a day off.

But what if this 4th of July was more than that?  What if we celebrated independence of a different kind?  What about exploring and committing to a different perspective of freedom?  How bout freedom from the attitudes, assumptions and behaviors that keep us from doing the things we can do?

Today can be more than the average 4th.  Today can be the day you declare independence from the thoughts that are holding you hostage, the patterns that are keeping you from living into your greatness.  The illusions that keep you stuck in scarcity are the very illusions that rob you of your freedom -- freedom of happiness, peace of mind, and ease.

What is your deepest yearning of freedom for yourself?  Who do you really want yourself to be?  Today you can let go of looking for yourself in other people and other things by realizing that you already are ALL that you want to be.  You already have the capacity to be that free. You are that free - it is the illusions that create a smoke screen of need and perceived imprisonment. 

Remember Nelson Mandela?  Imprisoned for 27 years in a cell just like this one at Robben Island, the South African leader endured countless abuses.  Yet, his captors could never imprison his mind.

He declared himself to be free, every day -- even if only in his mind.  But that was more than enough.  That declaration was his transformation out of his dark, tiny, filthy prison cell.  For Mandela, his mind was an oasis in the midst of hopelessness.  For so many of us that have so much, our mind is a desert in the midst of an oasis.

Today you can begin.  Just by making a simple, but profound shift in your thinking.

Today you can begin to be free. 

Declare it!

Posted by Kim George at 10:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)